Questions. Doubts. Heartbreak. Fear. Longing. Asking. Answers? Silence.

Updated: Oct 4

Inspiration from the book of Habakkuk.


I haven’t been able to travel to Haiti in over a year due to the pandemic and the political turbulence in Haiti. Amidst the uncertainty and ever churning plotline that is life here in the US, I have been dearly missing our kids and staff. Specifically, the love and light that they bring to my life has been noticed in its absence. I can only imagine what their experience has been like over the past couple of months and years.

I had the privilege of listening to Pastor Mike preach this past Sunday (09/12) at Concordia Steamboat. His sermon was on a passage out of Habakkuk. Habakkuk boldly airs his complaints to the Lord and God responds with a new perspective. This message really resonated with me. A lot of things in my life lately seem to not make much sense. There has been a lot of suffering in different layers of life and I have not had a lot of ability to see God’s hand at work in the midst of it all recently.

Habakkuk finds himself in a similar situation and asks God: “How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen! “Violence is everywhere!” I cry, but you do not come to save. Must I forever see these evil deeds? Why must I watch all this misery? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence. I am surrounded by people who love to argue and fight. The law has become paralyzed, and there is no justice in the courts. The wicked far outnumber the righteous, so that justice has become perverted.” The Lord replied, “Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it...”

The main point I took away from this was that we often are unable to see the whole picture through our limited perspective. Sometimes our perspective is limited due to our stubbornness (this is usually me) and other times our humanity and the short time we are here on earth is what keeps us from seeing the full picture. This does not take away from the Truth that God is working in and through us in all circumstances, though we may not see it.

So, even though I still have questions and doubts, though my heart will continue to break time and again during this life, though fear is a natural human experience that will not permanently dissipate with the uttering of a scripture passage, though my soul continues to long for something more, though the unanswered questions will never cease to exist, and though the silence is sometimes louder than all of the noise, I will choose to have faith that God is today, God was yesterday, God will be tomorrow and the next and the next day and the day after. He is peace, love and justice, mercy, light and life. He has gifted himself to me and to you for all of eternity and He is all we need.


With Love,

Kailee



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